Therapy Tech

This was our 3rd therapy session via video conferencing since the social distancing rule put everyone behind doors. Honestly, there is not much difference to me whether to see Jen sitting on the couch across from me or behind a screen. Other than the occasional lagging in her voice or sudden disappearance of her face,…Read more »

WFH

9:30 am, I am sitting in my pajamas with a messy bun hanging on to the side of my head. Although it looks like that I just rolled out of my bed, I am actually an hour and half into work and have already finished most of the tasks required. My mom is panicking because…Read more »

Therapy VII

New records. It was the first time that I had a complete meltdown during a session; and the first time that I made the psychologist cry (more like tearing up). Is this progress or deterioration? I told Jenn that her office was a safe place for me. I knew that when I sat on her…Read more »

Unplug

Yet another day. No matter how much mental struggle that I went through yesterday; how intense was my nightmares; or how impossible everything seemed like; yet now I am living another day. My brand new induction cook top have some fancy LED sensors that supposed to reflect the intensity of heat by different length of…Read more »

Therapy V

I couldn’t recall much of my most recent therapy session with Jen. I only vaguely remember that I talked myself out of a mental cluster, with her minimal interference. Instead of being my therapist, Jen is more like a highly skilled and unbiased (and expensive) friend who is always selflessly attending to my needs, in…Read more »

Therapy IV

“Jen, what’s wrong with me? Honestly, I am so tired of all these things. I am tired of talking about it, thinking about it, confused by it and drained by whatever this is.” Before heading into my therapist’s office, I didn’t even know whether I should still go through with it. What’s the point anyway?…Read more »

NOTHING

I must have gained 20 lbs in the past few weeks. I am also too chicken to stand on a scale to verify the actual figure. As soon as the temperature drops below zero, and the Sun is only available during business hours (the exact hours when I am locked in the downtown glass building…Read more »

Therapy III

I start to think that there is some magical chemical in the air of Jen’s office. More than half of the things I said on her couch were buried so deep in my mind that I didn’t even know they were there. “I want a dark hole to go hide in.” I found myself lashing…Read more »

World Mental Health DAY

October 10. Yes, that is TODAY! Today is World Mental Health Day. It is ridiculous and sad to know that people, on average, wait 8 to 10 years before seeking help for mental illness largely due to stigma. “Oh, you are just lazy.” “You are just weak and whiny.” “It’s all in your head and…Read more »

Therapy II

Woah my first ever sequel! And thank you for waiting so patiently for this my seven dedicated readers! Sitting on her couch, I reached for a long woolly pillow and held it on my lap. The giant ceiling-to-floor window was right beside this comfortable couch. A line of birds (probably the signature Canada Geese) were…Read more »