Be A Cloud

“When you look at the clouds they are not symmetrical. They do not form fours and they do not come along in cubes, but you know at once that they are not a mess. […] They are wiggly but in a way, orderly, although it is difficult for us to describe that kind of order.…Read more »

Toilet Paper

Sorry, I meant to say COVID-19. For some reason, now when I think about COVID-19, rolls of toilet paper image just pop up in my mind. SARS (SARS-CoV) started in November 2002, when first infected humans were identified in Guangdong province of China. I was in Guangdong province of China at the time. In my…Read more »

Unplug

Yet another day. No matter how much mental struggle that I went through yesterday; how intense was my nightmares; or how impossible everything seemed like; yet now I am living another day. My brand new induction cook top have some fancy LED sensors that supposed to reflect the intensity of heat by different length of…Read more »

Therapy V

I couldn’t recall much of my most recent therapy session with Jen. I only vaguely remember that I talked myself out of a mental cluster, with her minimal interference. Instead of being my therapist, Jen is more like a highly skilled and unbiased (and expensive) friend who is always selflessly attending to my needs, in…Read more »

Library

When was the last time that you have been to a library? I mean not like going in, grab a book and leave; but actually finding a place to sit and spending some time inside a library. Back in University days, library was like a second home to me. Being far away from my sweet…Read more »

Therapy III

I start to think that there is some magical chemical in the air of Jen’s office. More than half of the things I said on her couch were buried so deep in my mind that I didn’t even know they were there. “I want a dark hole to go hide in.” I found myself lashing…Read more »

Knitting

My anxiety treatment is getting expensive, if we are now adding the cost of knitting as part of my therapy. Yesterday afternoon at around 4:45 pm, I had this sudden urge to knit something. A scarf to be specific, I wanted to knit a scarf for J. The days are getting shorter and the tree…Read more »

World Mental Health DAY

October 10. Yes, that is TODAY! Today is World Mental Health Day. It is ridiculous and sad to know that people, on average, wait 8 to 10 years before seeking help for mental illness largely due to stigma. “Oh, you are just lazy.” “You are just weak and whiny.” “It’s all in your head and…Read more »

Therapy II

Woah my first ever sequel! And thank you for waiting so patiently for this my seven dedicated readers! Sitting on her couch, I reached for a long woolly pillow and held it on my lap. The giant ceiling-to-floor window was right beside this comfortable couch. A line of birds (probably the signature Canada Geese) were…Read more »