Demon

“I want to end my life.” She kept on looking out of the car window, watching all the clouds flying backwards, “but I don’t want to hurt my kid or parents.” She intentionally left his name out of her worries. Because she was sure that his life won’t be affected too much if she died.…Read more »

Therapy VII

New records. It was the first time that I had a complete meltdown during a session; and the first time that I made the psychologist cry (more like tearing up). Is this progress or deterioration? I told Jenn that her office was a safe place for me. I knew that when I sat on her…Read more »

Unplug

Yet another day. No matter how much mental struggle that I went through yesterday; how intense was my nightmares; or how impossible everything seemed like; yet now I am living another day. My brand new induction cook top have some fancy LED sensors that supposed to reflect the intensity of heat by different length of…Read more »

Therapy IV

“Jen, what’s wrong with me? Honestly, I am so tired of all these things. I am tired of talking about it, thinking about it, confused by it and drained by whatever this is.” Before heading into my therapist’s office, I didn’t even know whether I should still go through with it. What’s the point anyway?…Read more »

Therapy III

I start to think that there is some magical chemical in the air of Jen’s office. More than half of the things I said on her couch were buried so deep in my mind that I didn’t even know they were there. “I want a dark hole to go hide in.” I found myself lashing…Read more »

World Mental Health DAY

October 10. Yes, that is TODAY! Today is World Mental Health Day. It is ridiculous and sad to know that people, on average, wait 8 to 10 years before seeking help for mental illness largely due to stigma. “Oh, you are just lazy.” “You are just weak and whiny.” “It’s all in your head and…Read more »