Stress

My thoughts were clustered; words became gibberish; I could feel my heart beats in my throat and I kept on gasping for air but the suffocation wasn’t going away.

An accurate illustration of my mind by a talent on the internet

I put on a smile, a flowy blue dress, a bright shade of lipstick and a pair of 7 inch heels. My fearless looking armor hid my shaking hands perfectly. Some coworkers complimented me on my look today. I walked past a mirror then immediately started to think why is my face so chubby and where did my waistline go? The world can be so cruel to us sometimes and we need to be our own cheerleader! I said to myself but the voice was so low that I cannot be convinced at all.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “I don’t know.” I replied. It’s like a dark curtain suddenly blinded my mind; now everything seemed grey and blurry. “Why aren’t you happy? Your life is so wonderful!” Yes, you are right. Sorry that I can’t figure out either, why? The stigma for mental illness is so common:”It’s all in your mind! You can think your way out of it.” I tried and I wish I can. But the dark curtain was too heavy for me to lift it up.

I wanted to cry but there was no tears. I wanted to scream but there was no sound. So I just smiled and kept on walking.

7 thoughts on “Stress

      1. And even though it hurt—you did what needed to be done—get through the day. You smiled. That’s what I meant by ‘determination’. That takes courage. I picture the “warrior heels” (for me it’s boots😊) and then just keep on walking…👍
        I enjoy your writing style and how your stories end on a positive note.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks! I was having some really bad days. I just wantes to let some other people out there know that if they feel the same as me, they are not alone. And your words mean a lot to me. As always! 😊 Thanks!

        Like

      3. Nice and you are welcome as always. I think a lot of people can relate to your stories. A positive attitude and laughter is always good medicine! Thanks for sharing—and thanks for taking me a little deeper. I appreciate it. Ps. I also really like kimche. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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