Run Away

How many of you had or are having the thought of running away? Away from these chains, responsibilities, away from the boring repetitive routines? Or even away from society where you can see injustice or crazy people everywhere? If you have, then where are you running to? A deserted Island with wifi and unlimited supplies of fresh food and coconut juice?

The truth is that you can run to anywhere but you cannot escape yourself. And most of the time, the suffocating dark cage is created by our mind. After spending 10 years in Toronto, I desperately wanted to run away. I needed a “fresh start” and somewhere far away from my memories. My ten-year soul trapping relationship came to an end after a horrible period of time involving cheating, lying and excruciating pain. “I must leave.” I thought at the time, leaving behind all my friends and favorite restaurants, sold my house and quit my job. Moving to a new land that I knew nothing about, I was praised for my courage and being adventurous. The sad part is, the pain followed me. The memories didn’t stay with that city that I left behind. I was reminded of my ex everywhere in my new house too. I cried when my car went out of windshield fluids for the first time. I felt helpless driving on these new roads and often got lost on the way to grocery. I realized that how dependent I became in the past 10 years relying heavily on my ex; so much so that I didn’t even know how to fill gas. As shameful as it sound, I was forced to learn to live on my own again. Tears won’t make my car run after all. Being strong was my only option. Here, in this new land of hope, I have no where else to run but to face my challenges head on.

Now three years have passed. I can drive almost anywhere in the city without GPS. I have a few new favorite restaurants. I am surrounded by some super amazing humans that support me even on my darkest days. And I feel strong. I can even read car manuals without feeling nauseous! Yes, depression is still part of me but I trust myself to go through it every time. Because I appreciate the beauty of life and the people around me. Our mind is a powerful and magical system. It literally created the world we perceive. Just like how we can create the physical pain in our hearts; we have to know that we have the power to erase the suffering too, right where we are. Hey there, my beautiful friends. I want to let you know that you have the power in you and that is how amazing you are.

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