Man is condemned to be free. Condemned because he did not create himself, yet is nevertheless at liberty, and from the moment he is thrown into this world he is responsible for everything he does.

Jean-Paul Sartre

Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I heading towards? I often find myself ponder into an existential crisis. If humans are indeed just another type of animals on Earth, we are wired to survive. We will make sure there is enough food; that we have shelter; we will do the “fight or flight” reaction in the face of danger; and we will regenerate and protect our young. However, unlike all the other Earth animals that lived here for millions of years, that is not enough for us humans, or maybe some of us humans. We need to find out about meanings and ways to manipulate things to better serve us.

What is there outside of our planet? How can we take over Mars, just in case we destroy Earth? What if we change the genes in crops and make them grow faster and sweeter? What about creating nuclear weapons that could wipe out all of us and leaving the big red button under the control of several power-craving individuals? …

Truthfully, we seldom have sufficient information to properly make decisions. Yet our life can be completely altered by each choice we make. The burden of life for me is that I am constantly looking for a purpose. Some say that each of us is created for a specific purpose; just like scissors are made to cut; chairs are made to seat on. Doctors are here to cure; teachers are here to inspire; artists bring color to this world and Elon Musks are advancing us into another dimension. What is “me” created for? I guess we can create the purpose through life, by living with a good intention in mind. I want to help others. The smiles on other people’s faces, or the sparkle of hope in their eyes, can always bring the most satisfaction to my heart. At least I am aware of that, even though I have no idea how to achieve it yet.

How come we are the only animals developed this higher consciousness? Not a single fish in the ocean, or a bird in the sky, or bugs under ground, would lose sleep over the purpose or meaning of its existence. Well, none that we know of. They exist, therefore they are. Existence IS the meaning of its life. None of them would eat their way into depression or build machines that pour out toxic liquid into the rivers. Other animals are living such harmonious life that are in sync with the nature of this planet. But so many of us are constantly lost. Maybe we were not from this planet? Or, we were just some minions in a life simulation game? Who knows. But if our life is supposed to have some meanings, then we have every power to create it. Then maybe one day, we will look back and have that satisfactory smile on our face.

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