Bloken English

It started with the word “die” and shares no common letters with “joy” or “happy”. I rest my case. The end.

I had always been this skinny little girl growing up. My junior high teacher even asked me to eat more because it seems like my arms can be snapped in half with her bare hands. I am going to put the blame on the strawberry jam and butter from this western world. At the age of 17, the prime growth age of puberty, I came to Canada by myself for better education. Everything tasted amazing at the school cafeteria, even the vegetables (because they were soaked in butter). I remember that I would take 2 muffins, 4 pieces of white toasts in the morning so that I can put jam and butter on them. Yes, that was new to me. We didn’t know of this heavenly butter taste. I dramatically gained 20 lbs after the first half year studying here in Canada. So my diet journey naturally started then, to lose the butter fat. Up-to-date, after almost 15 years of on-and-off “diet”, I managed to gain 35 lbs. GAINED. It’s so painful to admit this but we have to be honest to ourselves right?

During this long journey of trying to lose weight, I paid for 4 different gyms, 3 trainers, 5 diet pills or dietary supplements of the same sort, and even signed up to be a workout program coach so that I can motivate myself to be active with money. Why didn’t it work? Because of one word, Discipline. It is easier for you to discipline others than yourself. The lazy butt living in your subconscious is so damn powerful. It can act like a ninja sometimes to stop you from going outside of your “comfort zone”, without you even realizing it. “What do you mean by eating just salad for dinner? I need my noodles!” To make it worse, the weight gain is accompanied by other health issues such as depression, anxiety, high blood pressure and irregular heart rate. “You are a mess.” as my acupuncturist said.

Instead of going on another diet, it is better to just choose to eat and live in a healthier way, in small steps. I can choose to work out at least 15 minutes at a time, 3 days a week; instead of trying to achieve one hour workouts daily. I can eat balanced meals with meat and vegetables, but without the midnight instant noodle snack. I can choose to believe that I look amazing the way I am now, just need to be healthier; instead of criticizing my body constantly. Let’s see how that goes. How about you?

If you are also struggling in weight loss, you are not alone. So screw diet, let’s just aim at taking good care of our beautiful bodies. How does that sound? 🙂